Twin Peaks Detectives

All your favorite TV detectives are here to help Twin Peaks’ Dale Cooper, who after 25 years agent can’t deal with this weird town alone anymore [to] solve a weird new case. Unfortunately- They’re probably weirder.

by OnlyLeigh

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My Sunday Reading

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Don’t sneer. It’s a serious problem for some of us.

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Your Oddball Saturday Morning Cartoon: Filmation’s FLASH GORDON, The Greatest Adventure of All

Produced in 1979 as a TV movie, but curiously shelved when NBC saw how good it was and opted instead for a weekly Flash Gordon series, The Greatest Adventure of All finally aired in August, 1982. I remember that night vividly. I was babysitting for my brother, it was hotter than Hell, but my brother’s TV rocked and I loved this little American animation. But that was then. Haven’t seen it since. Will it hold up?! The suspense is killing me.

Enjoy…

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Hey Boy! from THE AMERICAN ASTRONAUT

from The American Astronaut. Good morning, aka Wake Up You Bastard Gojira’s Here.

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Just Don’t

DraxDontTell

 

Been one of those weeks.

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Monday, October the 13th, Brought to you by Darth Vader

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DARTH VADER is the twitter handle of @DepressedDarth, a rabid and sleepless Star Wars superfan who delivers very funny SW shit on a daily basis. So I thought I’d offer an alternative to all the “HAIL CTHULHU! COME, DARKNESS!” posts today on this, Monday the 13th of October wherein, fuck yeah, we have plenty to be PLENTY scared of. If you’re a parent, it’s Enterovirus 68. If you’re paranoid (and who isn’t), it’s Ebola. If you’re a red bloodied Republican who’s quietly (or not so quietly) hated Obama’s black fucking guts for the last six years and now you turn on your TV and LOOK! Why that damn darkie has allowed Iraq to fall to pieces, completely dismantling all of George W.’s good work and those ISIS bastards are using guns and tanks we gave them and on and on but really, if you’re a red bloodied Republican on Monday the 13th of October you might be mad but red bloodied Republicans aren’t scared of shit, are you. You’re especially not afraid of these ISIS bums. ISIS? ISIS? What kinda name is that for an army, wasn’t Isis some Egyptian bitch who fucked Caesar or built the Sphinx or something? For if you are indeed a red bloodied Republican with a framed picture of Schwarzkopf on the mantel there ain’t no way on God’s green Earth that you could ever ever possibly be afraid of a woman, not even on Monday the 13th of October. Nope. Not you. A bitch? Come on. But RBR, look at the time! Time for bed, off we go. It must be strange to live without fear, RBR. I kind of feel sorry for you—I mean, fuck, you’re never going to buy one of my books except perhaps in my wildest dreams when you hold it up on big media and scream BLASPHEMY or something—but Red Bloodied Republican, I genuinely feel sorry for you. So as a one-time Draxian gesture I have arranged a special gift, a nightmare. Tonight. 2:47 am. Not masked gunmen kicking in your door nor the White House blowing up but the spectral and burning visage of Isis, her hand at your throat, a knife at her side, the Nile rising behind her like a tsunami to drown you in the waters you fear the most, the red rivers of woman.

No, really, you don’t have to thank me, RBR. The pleasure? All mine.

Because I finally fell into the proper wavelength of October today. The fear. The weird. It felt good to embrace it, embrace fear. Even as my world explodes around me, I find myself laughing a lot. Because I’m so full fear that when a bomb doesn’t go off for a full five minutes suddenly there’s something hilarious in my world. I’m still afraid. But it feels so good to laugh.

THUS

STAR WARS collected / created by @DepressedDarth

 

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SignUpDeathStar

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Screen Shot 2014-10-11 at 8.33.41 PM

When your parents ask you to clean your room

See? A little ha ha never hurt anyone on Monday October 13…

Oh, shit. It was Columbus Day, wasn’t it.

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A Plea from January that I never finished, thus never posted: “HELLO, 2014 (oh, planet earth, we are in trouble)”

YouAreInTrouble_2014

January 8 2014

HELLO, 2014 (oh, planet earth, we are in trouble)

Yes. Planet Earth, Gaia, Terra — we are in deep fucking shit. We are fucking doomed. Are you killing us because of how much we’ve harmed you? Are you alive? Are you shrugging us off, weeding us out?

[more about new emergent dominant life forms after we’re gone]

† † †

October 11 2014, 9:35  pm EST

NOsTRoDaMUS. Has. Spoken.

Is Earth weeding us out? I’d have to say, why, yes.

We better start learning better communication skills with Mother Earth real soon.

Anyway…

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I’ve Been Recalled to the Home Planet…

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Nasty bits of business. Labor relations w/ the Tharks, reconstruction woes for the pyramids, The Face, the tourist fees for Mariner Valley—some genius at Mars HQ decided they needed an “expert” and that same genius decided that the “expert” needed was yours truly. So much for the new adamantium stitches in my new boots! So much for the Red Planet’s lackluster night-life! So until I knock the God of War into shape, there’ll be no posts until midweek at the earliest. Hang Tight, True Believers, I Will Return.

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“Draw Me Like One of Your French Girls, Jack.”

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via

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Darth Vader @DepressedDarth

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The Return of The King

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Ha. As if. What a week it’s been. Sleepless nights, broken computer, mortgage shit, bitchfests w/ the co-parent, blah blah blah.

However.

New computer and the requisite fucking expensive software are now up and running, more or less. Weird learning curve w/ new operating systems. We’ll get there. The only constant is change.

As we stare down the barrel of 2014 w/ only 3 months left and on this, the first full day of Fall, let’s get a head count of who’s who, what’s what, and what’s left.

I pubbed THE LAST STAR IN THE SKY as a kindle single. Oh boy, bravo!

STAR_Drax_Cover

The Last Star in the Sky is available exclusively @ amazon.com

(like, big deal. but it felt good to put something out there)

I bought a new car. A new OLD car. But it’s a Jeep, and I love it.

I completed all the mortgage shit. We are now at the mercy of the Evil Bank. [GAH! The mortgage people just called! No, really! Just now! They wanted to know how much money Simon Drax made as a fiction writer in 2014. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!]

Well, that’s my fault, isn’t it.

THE PLOT AGAINST THE GIANT

no progress

(well a little)

UNTITLED BONDAGE SF FANTASY

no progress

(well a little)

The TWIN PEAKS essays

Halfway through reviewing the first season, still only halfway through Fire Walk With Me. Seriously considering whether I should honor this commitment or just bail, you know—fuck it. I have lots of thoughts and feelings about Twin Peaks as a TV and film and story-arc and social phenomena, etc., but I’m wondering if I really have anything original or insightful to bring to the table.

[Though watching the original pilot and Fire Walk with Me back to back is an incredible experience: Lynch and Frost knew their shit, they really, REALLY knew their own myth.]

And that’s all for now. It is nice to be back in operation. I will share Moon pictures soon.

Love Drax

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